[ It's both relieving and stressful, to know that he understands. Relieving, because it means she can talk to him honestly about all her worries and fears, knowing that he won't take any of it the wrong way as an unbiased third party. Stressful, because the empathy she hears in his voice undoes her, loosening the chains she's carefully bound around the messy knot of emotions she's carried inside her ever since returning. ]
I just...what if there had been another way?
[ There hadn't been, she knows that as well as anyone, having borne witness to every incident that had splintered their houses further and further. But it hadn't stopped her from hoping and dreaming. A mistake, if her bruised heart is anything to go by now.
One tear spills over, and then another. She sniffles and dashes them away, but they don't stop falling. ]
Sorry...I promise I didn't invite you over t-to see me cry. [ Embarrassing! ] Do you need more water for your tea, o-or anything else?
[ Comfort has never been his strong suit, but he yearns to provide it nonetheless. His chest swells with sympathy, and while this isn't the first time he's had to witness the tragic effects of war, it is the first time that he has no context to draw from. ]
If there was, I trust you would have found it. I have faith that what you did, you did only because there was no alternative.
[ His tea is now long forgotten when her tears begin to fall. ]
Don't apologize. It's only natural that you'd feel this way. It means you have a good heart.
[ And he wouldn't have come if he didn't want to offer support. He hesitates, just for a moment. ]
May I give you a hug?
[ Funny how this place works. They've shared much more than a hug before, but this feels so much more personal. ]
[ If this were Mercie, or even Dimitri or Felix or Sylvain, she wouldn't hesitate in agreeing. They're her dear friends, of course, but more than that is the fact that they've all suffered the same fate she has—or worse, in some cases, losing not only friends but beloved family. But Siegfried, while also a friend - or so she hopes, maybe that's too forward of an assumption given the handful of times they've conversed - is someone she also admires and respects. Someone she wants to look strong and confident in front of and not…..well, this.
She can't deny she desperately wants to be held though, and to be told that even if things won't be alright that there'll at least be a way to move on.
Her voice is small when she replies, fingers still fussing with the handle of her tea cup as she continues avoiding looking him in the eye. Not that it really matters at this point; her emotions are all over her face, because she's never been good at hiding them. ]
[ Anyone with an ounce of empathy, faced with a friend crying, would feel inclined to comfort. He simply didn't want her to feel as though he was patronizing her. They know so little about each other, but he can't help but feel honored that she's chosen him to confide in.
Even if her troubles have no solution, and it is grief and regret to be processed, but perhaps never truly healed from.
He stands up, leaning down and offering her his hand to guide her onto her feet. It's hard to hug someone while they're still sitting down. ]
[ This is enough, or so she wants to say, but between the gentle close of his fingers around hers to pull her up and then the strength of his arms wrapping around her body, it's impossible to do much more than to let the tears fall. Into his shirt, unfortunately, as she buries her face into his chest and cries, but sacrifices have to be made. She'd apologize if she were capable of it, but at the moment she can only think about how sad she feels about all of it, and how comforting it is to be held by someone else. It's comforting enough that she just lets herself cry, regardless of how pathetic she sounds or how ugly she must certainly look or how long it all takes.
Eventually, her shoulders stop shaking and she's able to breathe again without her body threatening a fresh bout of tears. Sniffling, she blinks her eyes a few times, though she doesn't yet lift her head, wanting to stay in his embrace just a little bit longer. ]
Sorry.... [ One day she'll stop apologizing. ] I got your shirt all wet.
[ Siegfried doesn't know the right words to say, or if there even are any words that could possibly help her, with how fresh the memories seem to be. So he doesn't say anything. He simply embraces her how he thinks he would have liked to be comforted, in the times that he's lost comrades, men under his charge, friends. While he's honored that she trusts him enough to be vulnerable like this, hurting like this isn't something he wishes on anyone, much less a friend.
He pulls back slightly when Annette does, shaking his head and frowning. ]
Stop apologizing. You deserve to grieve, and it's cruel that you weren't even allowed to pay respects in your home.
[ He'd gotten that closure himself, at least. He falls quiet, then looks around for something to offer her— a tissue, a handkerchief, even a clean napkin. There's a small one underneath their teacups, which he reaches for, and uses it to gently dab at her tear-stained cheek. ]
I'll stay for as long or as little as you want me to. I wish I could do more.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
going from smut to this is giving me whiplash
I just...what if there had been another way?
[ There hadn't been, she knows that as well as anyone, having borne witness to every incident that had splintered their houses further and further. But it hadn't stopped her from hoping and dreaming. A mistake, if her bruised heart is anything to go by now.
One tear spills over, and then another. She sniffles and dashes them away, but they don't stop falling. ]
Sorry...I promise I didn't invite you over t-to see me cry. [ Embarrassing! ] Do you need more water for your tea, o-or anything else?
[ Anything to give her a distraction. ]
no subject
If there was, I trust you would have found it. I have faith that what you did, you did only because there was no alternative.
[ His tea is now long forgotten when her tears begin to fall. ]
Don't apologize. It's only natural that you'd feel this way. It means you have a good heart.
[ And he wouldn't have come if he didn't want to offer support. He hesitates, just for a moment. ]
May I give you a hug?
[ Funny how this place works. They've shared much more than a hug before, but this feels so much more personal. ]
no subject
She can't deny she desperately wants to be held though, and to be told that even if things won't be alright that there'll at least be a way to move on.
Her voice is small when she replies, fingers still fussing with the handle of her tea cup as she continues avoiding looking him in the eye. Not that it really matters at this point; her emotions are all over her face, because she's never been good at hiding them. ]
Only if you want to.
[ Yes please. ]
no subject
[ Anyone with an ounce of empathy, faced with a friend crying, would feel inclined to comfort. He simply didn't want her to feel as though he was patronizing her. They know so little about each other, but he can't help but feel honored that she's chosen him to confide in.
Even if her troubles have no solution, and it is grief and regret to be processed, but perhaps never truly healed from.
He stands up, leaning down and offering her his hand to guide her onto her feet. It's hard to hug someone while they're still sitting down. ]
I only wish there was more I could do.
no subject
Eventually, her shoulders stop shaking and she's able to breathe again without her body threatening a fresh bout of tears. Sniffling, she blinks her eyes a few times, though she doesn't yet lift her head, wanting to stay in his embrace just a little bit longer. ]
Sorry.... [ One day she'll stop apologizing. ] I got your shirt all wet.
you don't have to reply to this but i wanted to
He pulls back slightly when Annette does, shaking his head and frowning. ]
Stop apologizing. You deserve to grieve, and it's cruel that you weren't even allowed to pay respects in your home.
[ He'd gotten that closure himself, at least. He falls quiet, then looks around for something to offer her— a tissue, a handkerchief, even a clean napkin. There's a small one underneath their teacups, which he reaches for, and uses it to gently dab at her tear-stained cheek. ]
I'll stay for as long or as little as you want me to. I wish I could do more.